5 Devious Devices You Should Quit Using to Punish Your Ex Family Articles | January 30 Black Jake Rudock Jersey , 2009 If you are one of those divorced parents who thinks it's just jolly good fun to punish your ex every chance you get, consider if this is beneficial for the children. Surely they cannot benefit by learning spitefulness, stubbornness, manipulation, alienation of affection Black Dwayne Allen Jersey , and putting down the new Mrs. Wonderful. Surely you'd want better for your children.
If you find your self among the population category "Divorced," do you also find yourself doing devious things to punish your divorce? Are you inflexible regarding scheduling to keep his time with the kids at a minimum? Do you choose old ratty clothing to pack because you know it will anger him? Do you keep the kids away from events you told him they would attend? Do you encourage your kids to disrespect his new partner? I cannot imagine how you think this could possibly benefit the children.
Some people would say your Inner Child is in control doing all these things. I would say that your inner child is a bit of a brat and needs to grow up. I'm going to discuss several ways this punishment might be happening and some ideas about quitting it. Please recall that regardless of the fact that you might not have wanted this divorce yourself, your children certainly did not. I know of no children who were happy about their parents splitting up. So now, you've got to put their needs first and give up on your grousing.
1. SPITEFULNESS. This attitude shows malicious ill will and a desire to hurt. It also shows that you're terribly hurt and you want them to know how much you are hurting. I'd like to suggest that spitefulness really isn't making anyone feel any bit better for it: you don't feel better; your ex doesn't feel better (or understand your hurt); and the children are uncomfortable around you when you do it. Basically, when you use spite Black Tank Carradine Jersey , you hurt yourself and your children even more! I'd recommend that when you want to do something spiteful, you ask yourself "What good can come to me or my children from this?" If nothing good comes from it, for heaven's sake, stop it. Try using words to express how hurt you are.
2. REFUSING TO MAKE CHANGES. The court has set up the custody agreement. This is IT and there IS NO DEVIATING! Really? Never? Come on now - there are always circumstances where plans have to be changed. Flexibility is a good thing. Reasonableness is a good thing. Cooperation is a good thing. I realize that there might be times when your ex simply doesn't want to hold up his end of the bargain and expects you to always be the one to change. I also know that you know the difference between that circumstance and a real reason to change. Be generous. Your kids will appreciate it.
3. ENCOURAGING YOUR KIDS TO PUNISH. Our children are brilliant - all of them. They know exactly how to get inside of us, how to get on our good side Black Eric Rowe Jersey , how to get what they want. If you (God forbid) have told them about how you'd like to punish their mother for her evil ways, and they begin to do it for you through stubbornness, bad mouthing, refusal, etc Black Ryan Fitzpatrick Jersey , you lose! You've taught them that it's okay to be vindictive and mean. Is this really how you'd like your kids to turn out? If you see them do this punishing, have a chat with them and discourage this behavior.
Thema drucken
20.09.2019 04:47
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